No Cucumbers
by Alyx
Nov 29, 2009

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Lady Bracknell: I’m sorry if we are a little late, Algernon, but I was obliged to call on dear Lady Harbury. I hadn’t been there since her poor husband’s death. I never saw a woman so altered; she looks quite twenty years younger. And now I’ll have a cup of tea, and one of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me.

Algernon: Certainly, Aunt Augusta. [Goes over to tea-table.]

Algernon: [Picking up empty plate in horror.] Good heavens! Lane! Why are there no cucumber sandwiches? I ordered them specially.

Lane: [Gravely.] There were no cucumbers in the market this morning, sir. I went down twice.

Algernon: No cucumbers!

Lane: No, sir. Not even for ready money.

Algernon: That will do, Lane, thank you.

Lane: Thank you, sir. [Goes out.]

Algernon: I am greatly distressed, Aunt Augusta, about there being no cucumbers, not even for ready money.

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